Dot's Dumb Diary
by LiL' Pug
Summary: This is a story of Dot's diary. She thinks that everything she writes is true or a least she thinks it's true. What will she do about everything that happens? Will her brothers or someone else find it?
1. Chapter 1

**This Diary Property Of:** _Dot Warner._

School: Acmie Academy

Cubby: 10

Best Friend: Mindy

Eye Color: Brownish

Hair Color: None, well, problay black.

Bow: Pink

WARNING

READ NO FURTHER

THIS IS NOT YOUR DIARY!!!!! I _can tell_

Dear Whoever Is Reading My Dumb Diary,

Are you sure you're supposed to be read somebody else's diary? Maybe I told you that you could, so that's okay. But if you are Hello Nurse, I did NOT give you permission, so stop it. If you are my brothers, then Yes, I know that I am not allowed to call people idiots and fools and goons and halfwits and dorks and all that, but this is a diary, and I didn't actually "call" them anything. I **wrote** it. And if you punish me for it, then I will know that you read my diary, which I am** not **giving you permission to do. Now, by the power vested me in, I do promise that everything is this diary is true or, a least, almost or true as I think it needs to be.

Signed, Dot Warner.

PS: If this is you, Hello Nurse, reading this, then HA-HA! I got you! For I have written this in poison ink on a special poison paper, and you had better run and call 911 right now!

PSS: If this is you, Runt, reading this, I have an antiode to the poison and it is convenienty vailable to you through a simple phone call to the tower. But don't mention the poison thing to my brothers if they answer. I think they might be all weird about me poisoning people.


	2. The Start

**Note: They have a dog now in the family. Only in this story.**

** Monday 02**

Dear Dumb Diary,

I was out playing with my dog, CoCo, this afternoon and I was doing that thing where you pretend to throw the ball and then don't throw it. And CoCo starts running for it until he realizes you didn't really throw it at all. Usually I only do it two or four times but today I guess I was thinking about something else, beacuse when I finally realized that I hadn"t thrown the ball yet, I problay done it about forty times. CoCo was a little bit cross-eyed and foamy and she wouldn't come back in the house for a long time. I wonder if dogs can hold a grudge.

**Tuesday 03**

Dear Dumb Diary,

I think I wa very nearly **nicknamed** today which is almost the worst thing that can happen to you in third grade. I was eating a apple at lunch and another apple fell out of my bag onto the floor, and Mike Pinsetti, who only breaths through his mouth, was standing there and he said, "Hey, Apple head." He's pretty much official nicknamer of the school, and Pinsetti's labels, although stupid, often sick. (Don't believe me diary?) Just ask old "Butt Buttlington," who was one of Pinsetti's very first nicknames. I don't even know hid real name. NObody does. He's been call Butt Buttlington for so long that his mom actually called him Butt by accident on time when she droppe him off at school. " Bye, Butt Buttlington," she said. Then when she relized what she had said, she reied to make it better by following up with: "Were proud of you" Back to my apple story. Ok, so I picked the backstabbing fruit up real quick. I thougth nobody had heard Pinsetti, which pretty much cancels out a nickname. But then this adorable musical laugher that sounds like somebosy is tickling a baby by rubbing it's tummy with a puppy comes from behind me. When I turn around, I see it's none other than Hello Nurse, who was problay evilly comitting this nickname to memory. It's only a matter of time before I have to stat wirting my papers as **APPLE HEAD!**

** Thursday 05**

Dear Dumb Diary, Because of Hello Nurse, who thinksshe is The Prettiest Girl in the World but problay is not even in the top five, I had to but my lunch at school today. I just couldn't take the chance that Yakko would pack an apple in my lunch box again, while I was secretly trying to throw it in the trash, Pinsetti or Hello Nurse would spot it and cuse a big nickname event. Then I'd have to run away from the tower. And just to prove that the entire Universe is on the side of evil, perfect Hello Nurse, it was Meat Loaf Day in the cafeteria. Thursday is always Meat Loaf Day. The Cafeteria Monitor Miss Staples, takes it seciousrly when you don't eat something. And she gives us all kinds of grief, in particular when we don't eat the greasy cfeteris meat loaf. Miss Staples starts going " What's wrong with the meat loaf?" and her giant slab of neck flubber starts waggling sll over the place. She has one of thoe big, jigglu necks that looks like it might be soft and fluffy like the meringure on top of a lemon meringue pie. So I had no choice but to eat some of the meat loaf, which smells a little like a wet cat, and that is Hello Nurse's falut, too, as is everything.


	3. Bad things with Hello Nurse

** Friday 06**

Dear Dumb Diary,

I don't know if I've ever mentioned Hello Nurse before, but she's this girl at my school who is beautiful and popular and has hair the color of spun gold as if anybody like that color. Mindy and I were in the classroom today, and Mindy insanely tried to engage Hello Nurse in conversation as she walked by, which was way out of line for Mindy since Hello Nurse is like a "9" in popularity while Mindy is hovering around and unsteady "5." (And after Mindy's lip balm- dependent llips start decaying from Lip smacker withdrawl, who knows how low that number could go?) Anyway, Hello Nurse just kind of loods at Mindy as if she's something peculiar and mildly gross like an inside- out nostril, and without saying a word, Hello Nuse just keeps walking.

**Monday 06**

Dear Dumb Diary,

School was ok today. Actually, it was **better **than ok. Hello Nurse got her long, beautiful hair tangled in one of the jillion things she has dangling from her purse and the nurse- who is now one of my main heroes- took a pair of sissors and snipped two feet of sliky blond hair from the right side of her head, so now Hello Nurse only looks like The Prettiest Girl in the World if you are standing on her left. (Personally, I think she would look better if she were standing on her neck.) Also, I got an assignment in English class to do a report on mythology. I asked my teacher Mr. Stevens whar "mythology" ment, and he said it's about things that don't really exist. I asked if that would include the right side of Hello Nurse's head Which got a laugh from everyone. Well, not Mr. Stevens and Hello Nurse. Mr.Stevens said that I pretty much need and A on mu report or my grades would be low. Mr.Stevens said with the mermaids. "You know," he said, "Below C level." Pretty funny huh? I hope the silky blond hair grows on his big shiny head so that the nurse can cut half of it off.

**Wednesday 11**

Dear Dumb Diary,

I tried to figure out something to do with Hello Nurses hair clump today. (I took it) There's not quite enough to make a fine wig. I thought about planting it like a bush to see if it would gro and grow. But then I worried it might be more beatiful than the real first head, so I forgot. I guess for now I'll just keep it liek a trophy, kind of like you might keep a moose's head on the wall(Sorry), except that in this case I only got a wad of the moose's hair. On the subjcet of her head, Hello Nurse was wearing the hat on the other side of her head, to cover her hair-cut. (**Beret **is French for stupid hat.) Anyway, nobody could believe how totally goony it looked. I'm sure this will be the end for her and Runt. (SHE LIKES HIM)


End file.
